Dear “Nice Guy” (Your name choice; I’m glad irony is not dead on craigslist):

I received your response to my craigslist ad last night (posted below), responding to my ad, in which I sought a “nerdy radical with great race analysis.” I assumed this title would draw people who had an interest in politics and also good grammar and spelling, although the latter two are just a bonus. I recognize that, adorable as my selfie in the ad is, I did announce that I’m plus sized so that guys who aren’t attracted to full-figured women wouldn’t have to waste time responding.

What I did not realize is that there would be a man out there who is such a catch that, while he gave me no evidence that he had anything in common with me, he would let me know he would make out with me on a porch swing in six months if I lost 25 pounds (spelled “loose” rather than “lose”—-almost evoking TD Jakes, which a pastor can appreciate: “fat, thou art loosed!”). (more…)